The Most Important Thing to Bring to Every In-Person Encounter During COVID
“It’s my first one,” the banker shifted nervously at her desk, as her supervisor ran to the back office to retrieve the branch manager.
“It’s ok, it’s my second,” I reassured her, patiently. “I had to open a corporate account when I started my solo-private practice in Colon and Rectal Surgery, years ago, so I know these things take time.”
I went on to chit-chat about my first time taking out an appendix as a resident, my first time doing a hemorrhoidectomy, and my first time repairing a rectal prolapse by mucosal stripping and plication — how the surgeon I worked for stood over my shoulder watching my meticulous technique, probably thinking he would grow old and die there it was taking so long!
I celebrated, “See, life is a series of first times!” She laughed, and in my mind, I started to check off the four elements of a successful physician-patient relationship:
Establishing Trust
Demonstrating Compassion
Assuring Stability
Inspiring Hope
TRUST is a funny thing, isn’t it? If we think about it as currency, how many “Trust-coins” did I need to invest to even walk into a brick and mortar bank to start my new business account during a global pandemic? I had to trust the institution, which appeared to come up consistently in my “best bank for business checking” internet searches. Would they have policies in place to keep everyone safe as numbers seem to be rising for a variant strain of coronavirus? I had to trust the process, that if I came prepared with all the proper documentation of my identity and the proof of this new enterprise I had created, that there is a process to create a safe space for all the money that my new firm would soon generate. Most of all, I needed to trust the people…would they be competent, honest, and reliable? And would they trust me?
So many opportunities to demonstrate COMPASSION during this visit – in both directions, no doubt! When the branch manager arrived, I started to make a Doogie Howser reference, but caught myself realizing that show aired when he was an infant-toddler. Despite our age difference, he did a skillful job engaging me, asking all the right questions about my new business and the entrepreneurial risks of reinventing my career, while supporting our banker-in-training as she hunted and pecked to fill in the fields of my application. At one point, he opened up to us that he was just back from paternity leave (for his third child!), and that some of the parts of the process were new to him, so he’d be calling out to the regional manager and the teller supervisor just to make sure we were doing things right. His vulnerability, and his ability to have both me and his mentee feel comfortable with uncertainty, was masterful, and much appreciated.
STABILITY – so many forms to sign! And yes, I’d love to take a copy, thanks! When it came time to establish a line of credit, the bank manager helped steer me to the right product for me without ever asking me for my credit score. At least twice, all three of us went over each of the forms for accuracy and understanding. My banker wrote her full name on the branch manager’s card, since she didn’t have her own cards yet, and said she would be there for me in the months and years to come, so please call if I had any questions. I trusted this sign of stability, as I had learned that this “new” banker had actually been with the company (previously as a teller) for thirty-two years.
Having suspended our ability to close out the encounter with a handshake or a hug, we said our goodbyes through masks and plexiglass. We imagined that someday I might visit the bank and we wouldn’t be wearing masks. My bank-friends wished me every success with my new venture, and thanked me for my patience. I left the bank with an unbounded sense of HOPE and joy, that there are institutions in this country that continue to keep their employees and patrons safe, employed, learning, and up-to-date, that there are processes in place so we can do that for each other, and that Trust, Compassion, Stability, and Hope remain hallmarks of successful person-to-person interactions.
All it takes is a little patience.